The Six Essential Aspects of Love

​

Take the test (link below) and find out how where your relationship stands. You will receive an informative personal response from us within 24-48 hours with helpful suggestions on how to improve your relationship—including recognition for what is working well. We respect your time and intelligence, so this is not a canned or automated reply.

​

The first three areas you will measure are those we typically associate with falling in love. There is a cultural meme that suggests that these fade over time; that passion, in particular, is not sustainable in long term relationships. We emphatically disagree with this unimaginative and prejudicial belief—the misguided perspective that passionate love is the sole prerogative of youth and those newly in love.

​

It is true that in the absence of attention, our desires for each other can fade in the stresses and challenges of everyday life. Passion certainly suffers when hurts occur that are not cleared up; then resignation can become a way of life. None of this is necessary. All marriages have ups and downs, however in a great relationship there is an increase in the following three areas over time.

FRIENDSHIP
Deep comradely connection as develops between those who have been in action together. Includes loyalty and generosity, as well as the willingness to be open and share your emotions.

​

PLEASURE
Experiencing each other as sources of entertainment and delight. Playful affection and enjoyment (as between children), for example laughing, bantering, dancing, and having fun.

​

PASSION
Sexual and erotic desire, including fire and surrender, intensity and transformation. Far-reaching physical and emotional intimacy. Passionate connection.

​

The remaining three areas are the life blood of long term relationships. Great marriages provide the means and, equally important, the incentive for increasing self-awareness and compassion for others.